-your definition of gross is drastically redefined -you realize you suck at being patient -you realize that kids can't remember the first 5 or so years of their life for a reason -you realize the reason is because being a good parent is a process, not instantaneous -you report on the size, shape, color, and frequency of bowel movements like you are discussing a grocery list -you get to see a whole new side of your spouse that is absolutely amazing -you smile more than ever -you realize how bored you must have been before -you realize that you really were lazy and undisciplined before becoming a parent -you laugh more than ever -you begin to want to be a great parent so badly while wondering if you'll ever be so -stories about other kids having to suffer make you cry (if they didn't already) -you can't remember what life was like before -you realize that all your thoughts about how to be a parent before becoming a parent were wrong -you realize how pretentious you were to think you knew anything at all about parenting -crying babies in public don't faze you, because at least it isn't your kid -sleep is never guaranteed -time alone with your spouse is like winning the lottery -you learn a new aspect of what love is -hugs, kisses, and eye contact take on a whole new level of importance -your life changes
I found out yesterday that the article I submitted for review at an interdisciplinary academic journal was accepted for publication. It will most likely come out in the March 2010 issue. The journal is called Social Science Quarterly. I am excited.
In other news...
-I'm training for a couple triathlons this summer -Kelly and I just saw UP, the new Pixar movie. It was great. You will not be disappointed. -Joel can crawl and pull himself up on stuff. He can also put Cheerios and crackers in his mouth by himself. Very cute. -We'll be seeing our families soon. I am pumped for that! -I am completely burnt out on the two papers I have been working on the past two months. I am happily turning them over to the co-authors so I don't have to write for a while. -Waco is incredibly hot this time of year. -I can't use my car's air conditioning or else the brakes go out. One of these days I am going to find the former more important than the latter... -I am enjoying life. Loved by God, my wife, and my son. It doesn't get much better than that.
I have a sneaking suspicion that I might be a nerd. While this may not be a surprise to some and an earth-shattering revelation to others, I can't seem to shake it. Now, I'm not sure how anyone defines "nerdy," I don't even know how I'm defining it.
For example, I've realized that I get excited talking about statistics. Thinks like significance, substantive explanations, odds ratios, etc. I was even so lame as to point out to my friend that his blog poll was unscientific and suffered from enormous amounts of bias. I mean really, get a life!
This leads me to two questions: 1.) How did I attract such a hot and un-nerdy woman to marry me? 2.) Is Joel at risk?
To offset my apparent nerdness, I submit that I can't be that bad because I am a triathlete. Yes, you heard me, I swim, I bike, and I run. And I do it for fun. Actually, that seems a little nerdy too.
Ok, here you go, I like reading sociology... dang, nerdy.
I enjoy sports! I enjoy watching them and following all the stats of the .... wait, dangit!
Having a kid makes one think. Here's some of the thoughts I have had lately while watching Joel. He's just learning how to crawl. It's so awesome.
As I sit and watch him work at it, I realize that only by taking my hands off and letting him struggle will he learn to do it himself. I know he wants the toy and I could easily intervene and get him to the toy more quickly. In fact, I could do this for the rest of his life (unless he grows much bigger than me). But if I did that, he'd never learn to crawl, or walk, or run.
Soon, he'll be learning how to talk. At first his words will be muffled and mispronounced and no one (except his mommy) will know what he's trying to say. But if I always try and interpret for him and never let him work on his language he'll never learn to communicate with other people. I could swoop in and do it faster and easier for him, but then he'd never learn to do it himself.
The same goes for going to the bathroom. Some day he will have to start learning how to take care of this himself; he can't wear diapers his whole life. Now, the consequences for letting him fail in this area can get a bit messy, but if we never let him work at doing it on his own, he never will do it on his own.
And so we as parents sit and let him struggle at times because we love him. If Joel could talk he might question why we allow him to go through this. He would say this because he does not see our higher purposes, our end goals for him. We desire him to be self-sufficient and to become so he has to learn, sometimes the hard way.
Why doesn't God intervene in our lives sometimes? Probably because he loves us. Why does he let us struggle, trip, fall, fail, and get messy? Because it takes these situations for us to learn. If those situations never existed, we would never learn.
He has higher purposes for us that we just can't see right now. We can decide to trust him though. It's in these times we can rest upon his unchanging nature. We can't rest upon what he'll do, or allow, because those things always change. But what never changes is his character, that he loves us and that he has a purpose for us.
So he, like me, sits and smiles with an indescribable love and lets us struggle because he knows, like I do, that seeing his kid crawl for the first time, no matter how ungainly, is absolutely incredible.
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Matt. 6:25-26
I tend to worry about my life. What I will eat, drink, and wear are on the list but bill-paying is usually at the top. This verse is important to me because it reminds me that I am a child of God, he sees me, and he will meet my needs. It also exhorts me to move beyond worrying because that is not what I am called to do. In fact, I think we could classify worrying as a sin (an action opposed to God's design for us).
What is really interesting about this verse to me is how Jesus points us to look at the birds. They do not sow, or reap, or store away in barns, and yet they are fed. Just recently I started to interject myself into the bird's place. What if I neither sowed, reaped, or stored away in a barn? Would my heavenly Father still feed me?
I think in many ways Christians in America, myself being at the top of this list, conflate being a good capitalist with being a good Christian. In our economy, the man who does not earn his wage is a reprobate and deserving of whatever comes to him. I am beginning to think that God is not defined or constrained by capitalist values. In his economy individuals receive apart from their actions. They receive due to what they are, not what they do.
My receiving what I need is separated from my actions. This means I cannot earn God's provision. I am his child and because of this I will be taken care of. My needs will be met (he may just have to redefine "needs" for me in the process). This is incredibly freeing and allows us to move out in grace knowing our great God will provide apart from what we accomplish. This, of course, does not free us to be lazy. In fact, I find that in my own life, when I am free to move out under his grace, I do more and am more productive.
I am not sure how clear any of this is to you. I think it is important for us, as Christians, to take a step back and look at what is guiding our actions and choices. What are our motivations. Are they being defined by the culture around us? Capitalism, individualism, gratification, etc? Be aware that there are structural realities around you that shape you. While they are powerful, you still have agency to act within them (with the possibility of changing them). What you've learned and come to take for granted due to where you live, what you grew up with, who you hang out with, is not the only way. There is a bigger world out there with different opinions and realities. Many of which may be closer to the Kingdom that we Americans would like to admit... where provision is given apart from earning action...
I alluded to the publishing of this "bible" in an earlier post. I recommend you read the blog post by Greg Boyd linked to in that post first. Here is his second post on the subject.
But I highly recommend reading this post by Greg where he further outlines the incredible stuff included in the "Patriot's Bible" (this stuff must have him worked up). He writes in the spirit of the "Really?" skits on SNL. Very insightful and incredibly disturbing.
The prejudice against religion is still the only acceptable prejudice among the cultural elite. ~Robert Bellah, sociologist and author of Habits of the Heart
Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the known to the unknown. ~Author Unknown
